Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
