Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
