btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
