So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize