So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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