Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
