don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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