at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
