We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
