Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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