Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
