brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
