so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
