The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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