Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
