i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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