You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
