We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My feet surprised me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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