love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
