I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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