Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize