But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
