Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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