There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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