You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
