There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
