i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
