He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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