Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize