I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
