Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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