Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
