just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
