i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i think i have herpe
just one?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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