I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
