Well douche your snatch and let's go!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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