We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
