well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
