More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
