how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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