The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
