i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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