apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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