i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
