Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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