Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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