Tell her she can't have a vagina
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
