oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You need Xanax blowdarts
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
