so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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