Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize