did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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