just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
