Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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