So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
