Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
