I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
