I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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