Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
