no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
